Pain

A badly written poem

Pain, pain, go away
Tramadol makes me queasy
Like I have had ten beers
The pain fades quickly
But can only take it at night
My wrist is still broke
Distal radius fracture
No driving. No painting
No contact sports
Worst timing
Broken wrist in the school holidays is not the one.

Sticks and stones

Will break my bones but names will never hurt me.

Or Ice. Ice will break my bones. Today I broke my wrist ice skating backwards. I’m feeling quite sorry for myself too. After having two children painkiller free I can easily say this felt a million times worse. I managed to laugh off the fall, roundup my eldest who was whizzing around, remove both of our skates whilst smiling externally but dying inside and drive all the way home willing no one to slow down so I wouldn’t have to change gear. Every gear change was absolutely horrendous and spent the drive home mostly screaming.

Husband took me to hospital where he basically laughed and showed me other people’s wrist fractures 😂 which made me feel queasy and came over very faint. The triage and radiographer went “ooohhhh” when they saw my swollen bulbous wrist too which for me wasn’t too fun. I hate not knowing the outcome of something and started hyperventilating that I’d need surgery which I’m totally petrified of.

Turns out I dislocated my wrist out and back in and when it went back, it fractured the scalphoid. So I am in a lot of pain, awaiting a fracture clinic appointment this week and feel completely useless one handed in a splint and sling.

Worst of all now no hockey practice for absolutely ages or no skating which I am a bit in mourning about. Or that I can’t work for a few weeks,luckily money isn’t an issue as I do it to keep myself busy but feel sad letting my clients down.

No real point to this post besides feeling sorry for myself. Enjoy a picture of my massive hand sat on some frozen peas before the hospital 🤚

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Blog block

Apologies for the long delay. Everything has been crazy here since the wedding! What a day that was, full of so much chill, love and friends all in one place. I literally think it was the most relaxed wedding ever and had many of the same comments from happy guests. Everything went wonderfully smooth and the desired effect I.e am married, was successful. What I didn’t factor in was the immediate after wedding blues/sensory and emotional comedown. It hit me hard for two weeks and I was absolutely exhausted from so much socialising. What else I failed to think of was our mini cruise honeymoon two weeks after the wedding. Seriously, if you are in anyway autistic literally don’t cruise. It was horrendous, I probably should had though A little harder to the honeymoon to factor in the being shut on a boat with noisy atrocious drunk middle aged people for two solid days wasn’t the one. The restaurants with the faffy food, food touching each other or just entire menus of food I can’t eat made me realise how picky I actually am. The constant motion and slight movement of which hubby couldn’t feel but I am like an orca whale and can hear a pin drop and feel people breathing haha. Even though the cruise ship was one of the biggest, could definitely still feel it.

Gin obviously helped a lot.

Our second family-moon to Bluestone was ridiculously chill. Week in beautiful Pembroke with such a wonderful nature feel to the entire park. No vulgar clubhouses or drunk people stumbling around, just cider in the forest by campfire was totally bliss.

In other news, not much really. Learning to handle myself more each day and push myself to do things, I have recently pushed myself to become self employed and start my own business. I refuse to be beaten by asd and my crippling anxiety. I have also joined an ice hockey team which really has taken some balls to go to. It’s ninety nine percent big burly men and I really am holding my own luckily. I decided to do this after having so many compliments at the local rink at how good I could skate which is weird to hear. My daughter has been playing ice hockey since Christmas and I usually go with her as I was the only one who could skate. So I thought why not, I’m not too old or unfit, I’m pretty fit to be honest besides the layer of fat covering me and I actually really look forward to going and body slamming men into the boards. It’s great for socialising and meeting so many people from many different backgrounds and ages. Hockey enforcer ftw.

Also other news I went slightly mad and ripped out my entire bathroom following our wedding during the two weeks of doom I was having. It is almost done and looking super awesome and modern.

Friendships are amazing right now. This year I have tried so hard to push myself to make new friends and am so proud I have made so many new good friends in so many new different areas. Good friends, school mum friends, preschool mum friends, hockey friends, networking friends and taekwondo friends. Life is feeling so full and wonderful.

Goals for the rest of the year,

Keep my business going. One step at a time. It’s not for income but to keep my mind busy as my youngest starts school in September.

Keep at ice hockey and get into a rec team.

Be kind to my family and patient.

Finish bathroom, design eldest asd child’s bedroom and make sensory corner. She is struggling with being overwhelmed with clutter and mess so think this will help.

Fear nothing.

Love your life and fill it fully.